Here is the first piece I have written for my zombie novel since school began. It isn't finished but I like where it's going. Enjoy, I wrote it while on break from studying for a rather big test (oops).
The Sound of Silence:
The biggest difference between the end of the world in cinema and the end of world as it actually occurs is the soundtrack. Music is integral to the story telling, but we never really appreciate how artificial it would be in reality. Thus, the world of the dead is a world devoid of music. Occasionally I will come across stereos, iPods and music players in varying states of decay; some even work, when I can find batteries. But I dare not play them, unnecessary noise is a foolish luxury in a place where undead cannibals stir at the slightest misstep or cough. They are drawn by music, more so than other noises, as if they remember its importance. Often, I have used my whistling to draw them from the darkness of their hiding places. Careful experimentation has led me to believe they like classical music the best. I will relate one such study.
I came across one of them a few weeks prior to this entry. The woman, clad only in a bathrobe, had sustained a broken leg from her fall into an elevator shaft. I passed the open elevator doors alerted to her presence by a steady scrapping sound as she her shattered leg along the abandoned pit. The sound made me woozy and I sat down, hanging my feet over the edge of the shaft. Ten feet below she began to groan quietly as she strained her stiff neck to look up at me. While I usually avoid provoking the creatures, do not underestimate the power of boredom. Safety out of her reach I began to whistle, curious as to how she would react. At first I tried one of my favorites, Honky Tonk women by the Rolling stones. Clearly unimpressed, she attempted to scale the smooth concrete wall of her cell. She fell several times and I stopped once I realized she had ripped the nails from her once delicate fingers in her attempt to reach me. She had the hands of a Piano player, long and thin, graceful and ethereally pale. I began to whistle Fur Elise instead, it seemed a more fitting tune for the devilish musician that reached upward toward the sound of my voice. A strange expression came across the thing’s face as she lowered her arms back to her sides. She continued to stare straight at me but her mouth was closed and her chilling moaning had subsided. Instead, she began to sway back and forth, seemingly transfixed by my song.
I continued until the absurdity of my actions caught up with me and I turned away from the pit, ashamed of myself for letting my guard down. Once I stopped her hellish cries began again, as did the scratching of her bone upon the floor of the prison that held her. I moved on, made uneasy by the sound of dragging feet just outside the window behind me. The screams of the elevator girl had continued to intensify after my song had ended and this had in turn, gained me a crowd. Twenty or so ghoulish figures blocked the exit to the apartment complex I had come into to scavenge. I cursed my luck silently and weighed by options.
I had never fought off twenty before, I had nearly be bitten earlier that week when I had become surrounded by ten of them following a moment of carelessness. They had appeared suddenly after I had cursed loudly, following a rather painful stumble during which my shoelaces had become entangled in a exposed piece of steel re-barb. As I picked myself up and brushed the dust from my hair and clothes I realized too late my situation. I had become encircled.
Unsure how I was going to escape, one hopeless scenario in a long string of improbable events, I prepared myself physically and mentally for combat, only to find my shovel had become dislodged from my pack and lay just beyond the closing horde. Panic set in as I saw my death a thousand times all at once. I knelt, balancing on the balls of my feet, feeling the ground beneath my feet desperately for any object I could use to save myself with. My fingers grasped stoned and I immediately rose, sprinting toward the closest beast with a sizable chunk of concrete. The bludgeon made contact with the creature’s face, a sickening crack told me the force of my blow had snapped his decaying neck in two. Without a moment’s pause I screamed loudly and ran at the next opponent, again aiming for the head. This one was quite a bit smaller than the last and the force of my strike knocked the monster over and I with it. Frantically trying to stand, I became entangled with the smaller corpse as his eight remaining compatriots closed the short distance between us.
The dust and accumulated ash made the street slick like ice as my feet struggled to grip the asphalt. I gained a footing but saw no sign of my improvised hammer. Without any remaining options I rushed the shambling group at full speed, shoulder first in hopes of breaking free and escaping to the path just behind their looming figures. I ran on pure adrenaline as my body connected with the walking corpses. I broke through the menacing crowd successfully but was quickly grabbed by several hands, I fought them off as best as I could but was overpowered by one of the larger beasts. I felt a tight pinching pressure and yelped involuntarily as I looked downward to see a decaying face latched onto my foot. Desperate to escape, I kicked wildly and broke free as the struggled dislodged my foot from my boot. Satiated with his prize, the monster continued to gnaw at the hard leather, even as his teeth snapped from his jaw. Freed, I ran as far as I could before I stopped to examine my blood drenched sock. The boot had saved my life, but the surrounding rubble had resulted in a nasty gash along the underside of my heel. I limped home, leaving a trail of blood behind me.
Determined to avoid another such confrontation I contemplated jumping the ten feet from the second floor and landing behind the crowd that had gathered following my musical performance. I quickly dispelled the thought from my head as I realized the fall would most likely shatter my leg just as it had the lonely pianist from the elevator shaft. I thought about fighting them all off, and decided against that as well, there needed to be another way. I sat down, I always thought better when seated. It was then that I spotted the loudspeaker hidden behind the table at the end of the hall, it must have been left during the evacuation I thought. I approached the device and tested it, a loud screech informed me it still worked. I quickly shut it off, hanging it around my arm and walking back to my place of contemplation. And all at once it came to me...
Stay tuned for another exciting episode of "Jesse avoiding work!!"
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Three Unrelated Things (now with more Medical secrety goodness!)
Three unrelated things
1. I hate Lady Gaga because she keeps making songs that get stuck in my head, Paparazzi is catchy as shit. Why the world do I like her music? It's the musical equivalent of crack cocaine, that's why.
2. Adderall is bad news and I am done with it. Let my ADD re-complete me. What no one seems to appreciate is what happens when you go off Adderall or any other suspect amphetamines. Withdrawal from these drugs can lead to fairly serious depression and honestly who needs to deal with that? Legal Disclaimer: I was diagnosed with ADD and have a prescription for Adderall, so please don't harass me (unless it's about something else). Don't do prescription drugs kids, they are often more dangerous than the illegal ones. You've been told, but that's really a whole new entry I will be writing soon.
3. I was working in Urology clinic the other day shadowing and asking alcohol and smoking histories (more fun than it sounds) when the conversation between the Doctor and patient was interrupted by a knock on the office door. A resident enters the room, apologizing for his interruption and exclaiming "Dr. (attending I am shadowing), the G.I. conference is in the other room when you're ready." The resident then excused himself and the appointment continued as usual. After the patient left (and I do stress that the patient was not rushed in anyway) the Attending turns to me and explains he'll be back after he picks up some food and this is precisely what the resident had meant by "G.I. Conference," that there was free food in the other room. I spent about ten minutes picking my jaw up off the floor. And after all of this, I didn't even get any G.I. Conference. It's a crazy world that I've gotten myself into, sometimes I wonder who's going to be in for more of a shock - me or the medical establishment. We'll find out soon enough.
1. I hate Lady Gaga because she keeps making songs that get stuck in my head, Paparazzi is catchy as shit. Why the world do I like her music? It's the musical equivalent of crack cocaine, that's why.
2. Adderall is bad news and I am done with it. Let my ADD re-complete me. What no one seems to appreciate is what happens when you go off Adderall or any other suspect amphetamines. Withdrawal from these drugs can lead to fairly serious depression and honestly who needs to deal with that? Legal Disclaimer: I was diagnosed with ADD and have a prescription for Adderall, so please don't harass me (unless it's about something else). Don't do prescription drugs kids, they are often more dangerous than the illegal ones. You've been told, but that's really a whole new entry I will be writing soon.
3. I was working in Urology clinic the other day shadowing and asking alcohol and smoking histories (more fun than it sounds) when the conversation between the Doctor and patient was interrupted by a knock on the office door. A resident enters the room, apologizing for his interruption and exclaiming "Dr. (attending I am shadowing), the G.I. conference is in the other room when you're ready." The resident then excused himself and the appointment continued as usual. After the patient left (and I do stress that the patient was not rushed in anyway) the Attending turns to me and explains he'll be back after he picks up some food and this is precisely what the resident had meant by "G.I. Conference," that there was free food in the other room. I spent about ten minutes picking my jaw up off the floor. And after all of this, I didn't even get any G.I. Conference. It's a crazy world that I've gotten myself into, sometimes I wonder who's going to be in for more of a shock - me or the medical establishment. We'll find out soon enough.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
More Complaining
The only equivalent I can offer as to how I feel during and after tests in medical school is an overwhelming sense that the entire administrative staff is standing behind me giving me the middle finger and giggling. That pretty much sums it up.
Monday, October 26, 2009
School, glorious school!
Now that I'm two months into school, I think I'm finally beginning to realize what its about. Just the small things, things that Medical professionals would probably not want you to know. Seeing as I do feel my alliances lay solely to my school, I feel somewhat duty-bound to share some of these revelations with you all. Ultimately it all adds up to one thing, if everyone knew what goes on in the process of making a doctor, I find it unlikely any of us would sleep quite as well as night (myself included). Here goes. I cannot assure you my thoughts will be organized or even sensical, but here they are as they lay in my mind.
Medicine is a best, a profession of educated guessing. We are constantly told "the more you know, the more you realize how little you know." Truer words folks, truer words. The human body is infinitely complex, beyond what you or I could ever conceive, even if say, we dedicated our lives to the pursuit of medical knowledge... It seems as if every day we learn something that negated or amended half of what we already believed to be fact. Medicine is really more of an art than it is a science and as such, it seems to be extraordinarily hard to teach. As such, I do not believe Medical school is the proper way to train doctors. It frightens me that we must constantly be reminded that we will be working on living people, as if this is a goal that none of us are fully aware of. Perhaps this is an undue criticism and judging by the conversations I've had with many of my fellow students, while stimulating, are often terrifying. More on this later...
We are given soft courses, patient centered lectures that supposedly teach us how to talk to and treat patients. This is great and I applaud the THOUGHT behind it. Of course we should be taught the necessary skills to interact with patients. We are told to listen to patients, to encourage them to tell us what is bothering them and make them feel their opinions are respected. Here's the thing though, compassion is not a skill, it is measure of character and one that many in the Medical field most assuredly lack. Anyone with a shred of common sense and basic human decency knows how to deal with others (not perfectly mind you, but this is where experience comes in). You cannot teach doctors how to care, they either do or they do not. This problem is exacerbated by the Medical student.
Medical students are all determined and book smart, that is a given, I am constantly amazed at the sheer will and depth of knowledge my peers possess, they are truly exceptional people. I believe you would be hard pressed to a find a more intellectually gifted group. Unfortunately this raw intelligence does not always extend into the realm of common sense and social interaction. I know that sounds a bit harsh (and maybe even bitter) but it is undeniably a fact. As much as I complain about the lecturers listed above and designed to teach us how to be "nice" to patients I understand their importance. The sad truth about, is a staggering number of Medical students have no absolutely no clue how to empathize or relate to non-medical professionals (this also applies for professionals who have sense been entrusted with our physical well being). I give you the ethical dilemma we were given to tackle:
A patient with a rare anemia enters the hospital seek treatment for their ailement. You inform them that they are in dire need of a blood transfusion and would likely die without one. The patient in turn informs you that they are a Jehovah's Witness and it is expressly forbidden by their religion to receive any blood transfusion or like treatment. The patient then loses consciousness. The patient's spouse (who is not a Jehovah's Witness) soon arrives at the hospital as well and seeing their loved one unconscious and sickly, begs you to go ahead with the transfusions regardless of their spouse's wish. How would you handle this situation?
The opinions among my peers were much split. I listened to a peer exclaim, quite proudly, that they would treat the patient against their wishes because the patient would thank them when they pulled through. Others refused to give the transfusion and remarked what a simple decision this is. "Legally" they explained, "it is safest to follow the patient's wishes, unwritten or otherwise" even in light that the severely anemic patient could very well have been an altered mental state and not competent to make such decisions.
I'm not even going to get into the ethical dilemmas or medical concerns of either answers. What concerned me most was the ease and speed at which so many of peers decided the fate of this person's life. This is not a question with any one easy or simple answer and requires a great deal of thought and deliberation. It frightens me that people have already so easily chosen their stance on issues that so clearly beyond our ability to make at present time. Simply put, we are not yet experienced to make such important decisions and it is terrifying that so many think they can. This is not to say all medical students are socially incompetent, I do not believe they are. What I am trying to impress upon you all (perhaps unsuccessfully) is that a certain vital element is missing from many of those in the Medical profession. And it saddens me to think of all the possible students who were not accepted into Medical school because of academic reasons who would have made caring, ethical and cool headed physicians. I worry that the priorities are all off. Medical school administrations seem most interested in attracting the scientists, the 4.0's and those with years of research under their belt. Somewhere along the line, the role of doctor's as healers has been lost and replaced with arrogance, self promotion and other qualities that have no place in medicine. I do not think anyone is doomed to repeat this cycle, but if none of us speak up then I worry will we be creating a generation of doctor's who will never truly appreciate the fact that we serve patients and we do not always know what's best, regardless of what we may be taught. Humility is perhaps the essentially ingredient that seems to have been selectively abandoned in favor of efficiency and academic prowess.
Medicine is a best, a profession of educated guessing. We are constantly told "the more you know, the more you realize how little you know." Truer words folks, truer words. The human body is infinitely complex, beyond what you or I could ever conceive, even if say, we dedicated our lives to the pursuit of medical knowledge... It seems as if every day we learn something that negated or amended half of what we already believed to be fact. Medicine is really more of an art than it is a science and as such, it seems to be extraordinarily hard to teach. As such, I do not believe Medical school is the proper way to train doctors. It frightens me that we must constantly be reminded that we will be working on living people, as if this is a goal that none of us are fully aware of. Perhaps this is an undue criticism and judging by the conversations I've had with many of my fellow students, while stimulating, are often terrifying. More on this later...
We are given soft courses, patient centered lectures that supposedly teach us how to talk to and treat patients. This is great and I applaud the THOUGHT behind it. Of course we should be taught the necessary skills to interact with patients. We are told to listen to patients, to encourage them to tell us what is bothering them and make them feel their opinions are respected. Here's the thing though, compassion is not a skill, it is measure of character and one that many in the Medical field most assuredly lack. Anyone with a shred of common sense and basic human decency knows how to deal with others (not perfectly mind you, but this is where experience comes in). You cannot teach doctors how to care, they either do or they do not. This problem is exacerbated by the Medical student.
Medical students are all determined and book smart, that is a given, I am constantly amazed at the sheer will and depth of knowledge my peers possess, they are truly exceptional people. I believe you would be hard pressed to a find a more intellectually gifted group. Unfortunately this raw intelligence does not always extend into the realm of common sense and social interaction. I know that sounds a bit harsh (and maybe even bitter) but it is undeniably a fact. As much as I complain about the lecturers listed above and designed to teach us how to be "nice" to patients I understand their importance. The sad truth about, is a staggering number of Medical students have no absolutely no clue how to empathize or relate to non-medical professionals (this also applies for professionals who have sense been entrusted with our physical well being). I give you the ethical dilemma we were given to tackle:
A patient with a rare anemia enters the hospital seek treatment for their ailement. You inform them that they are in dire need of a blood transfusion and would likely die without one. The patient in turn informs you that they are a Jehovah's Witness and it is expressly forbidden by their religion to receive any blood transfusion or like treatment. The patient then loses consciousness. The patient's spouse (who is not a Jehovah's Witness) soon arrives at the hospital as well and seeing their loved one unconscious and sickly, begs you to go ahead with the transfusions regardless of their spouse's wish. How would you handle this situation?
The opinions among my peers were much split. I listened to a peer exclaim, quite proudly, that they would treat the patient against their wishes because the patient would thank them when they pulled through. Others refused to give the transfusion and remarked what a simple decision this is. "Legally" they explained, "it is safest to follow the patient's wishes, unwritten or otherwise" even in light that the severely anemic patient could very well have been an altered mental state and not competent to make such decisions.
I'm not even going to get into the ethical dilemmas or medical concerns of either answers. What concerned me most was the ease and speed at which so many of peers decided the fate of this person's life. This is not a question with any one easy or simple answer and requires a great deal of thought and deliberation. It frightens me that people have already so easily chosen their stance on issues that so clearly beyond our ability to make at present time. Simply put, we are not yet experienced to make such important decisions and it is terrifying that so many think they can. This is not to say all medical students are socially incompetent, I do not believe they are. What I am trying to impress upon you all (perhaps unsuccessfully) is that a certain vital element is missing from many of those in the Medical profession. And it saddens me to think of all the possible students who were not accepted into Medical school because of academic reasons who would have made caring, ethical and cool headed physicians. I worry that the priorities are all off. Medical school administrations seem most interested in attracting the scientists, the 4.0's and those with years of research under their belt. Somewhere along the line, the role of doctor's as healers has been lost and replaced with arrogance, self promotion and other qualities that have no place in medicine. I do not think anyone is doomed to repeat this cycle, but if none of us speak up then I worry will we be creating a generation of doctor's who will never truly appreciate the fact that we serve patients and we do not always know what's best, regardless of what we may be taught. Humility is perhaps the essentially ingredient that seems to have been selectively abandoned in favor of efficiency and academic prowess.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
So What the Hell Happened to Jesse?
I have been insanely busy and neglecting my blog. As time is short (I have a big test Tuesday) I will make a short list of what I have been up to!
1. Joined my Medical School's A Cappella group (The Notochords). I may even have a solo... Stay tuned.
2. I am trained to give vaccinations now! I start sometime next week, vaccinating against Flu and Swine flu to hospital staff and patients from the free clinic. I am quite excited about this, as it is the first clinical experience I have had. That said, giving vaccinations to three hundred people without killing any of them is a daunting thought. Here's to not ending my career before it starts.
3. I'm trying to decide what kind of research/internship I want to do this summer. I'm stuck between anti-aging research and some kind of Emergency type dealy.
4. Its colder than it should be lately.
5. The human body is the most amazing piece of equipment I have ever come in contact with. Evolution has created the craziest conglomerate of super advanced intelligence, paired with infintely ineffective design flaws. I want to talk about this all damn day.
That's all for now :D
1. Joined my Medical School's A Cappella group (The Notochords). I may even have a solo... Stay tuned.
2. I am trained to give vaccinations now! I start sometime next week, vaccinating against Flu and Swine flu to hospital staff and patients from the free clinic. I am quite excited about this, as it is the first clinical experience I have had. That said, giving vaccinations to three hundred people without killing any of them is a daunting thought. Here's to not ending my career before it starts.
3. I'm trying to decide what kind of research/internship I want to do this summer. I'm stuck between anti-aging research and some kind of Emergency type dealy.
4. Its colder than it should be lately.
5. The human body is the most amazing piece of equipment I have ever come in contact with. Evolution has created the craziest conglomerate of super advanced intelligence, paired with infintely ineffective design flaws. I want to talk about this all damn day.
That's all for now :D
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