is the fifth or sixth day? I don't even know, but here's a blog entry.

So what did I do yesterday? Hmm, my powers of limited memory inform me that I had a lot to drink and thus am having a slight difficultly remembering what I did. Let's try that again - Ah! The Medici chapel! Why yes of course, quite lovely. I also finally got to climb the Duomo. Stay tuned for fascinating pictures and commentary in this, a day in my life.

First things first. This is the entrance to the courthard down the stairs from my apartment. But then doors are usually closed because of the danger women pose.
Never trust a woman. They are dangerous and will invade your courtyard at any opportunity, beware.
You too, adorable female sparrow whom I assume is a baby. I've got my eye on you, stay away from my courtyard.
This is unrelated but I don't know why the bathroom at the art school has a shower. What I do know is that you shouldn't trust women with your shower either. But I haven't time for these shenanigans (yeah, I'm calling self-shenanigans), I'm off to climb the Duomo.
And so I climb some stairs
Then some more stairs
Then I climbed the same stairs as before because I ran out of pictures of stairs, but look!
A vista! ooooooh, pretty.
And look! More stairs I missed earlier!
I shall, move forver towards the dome mine sweet lord. Also I can see myself taking a picture like a tard.
THY SWEET DOME APPEARITH
And then more stairs... followed by...
A vista! You thought I was going to show you more stairs? HA!
Well you were right. It was a long climb up.
I made it! I call this photo: "Classy and Sassy." A lady was nice enough to offer to take the picture for me, but I didn't let her because I assumed she'd steal my camera because a reliable source warned me not to trust women. That was awfully close huh? Thanks random wall grafitti.
And whats special about this picture? I thought it was a much better picture of myself! Its fun to play guessing games!
A church!
A different Dome! I think its the Medici Chapel.

Alright one more picture, but then more
Stairs! This time with random Japanese. Asian women I trust, I just intuitively trust Asian people, I don't know why.
A view of the Duomo from the inside out.

Italian fail! But I wasn't supposed to be taking pictures here, so also a person fail.
The Fail Beast Cometh (and knocketh).
Snooty stone woman does not approve.
Fine, so have some boring pictures of the beautiful Arno river and Ponte Veccio. But it ain't over until the...
...fat lady strips... Hmm... The end?
Now its over. I leave tomorrow morning :( so probably no more blogs until I get back. It's been fun Florence, I'll seeya round - but not as round as that lady. Ciao.

5th day in Florence (my 100th blog post! Huzzah!)

Okay so yesterday I went to the Pitti Palace and surrounding Boboli Gardens - spelling matters little to me. Here are my photos and subsequent snarky remarks.

I just like the difference in colors of Pitti Palace it remind me of my...
Delicious ass ice cream. (Note, it was not "ass" ice cream, it was chocolate and creme OR Ciolocota e crema. Molto bene!) I love ice cream. No, seriously, I love ice cream. You don't even understand the depths of my passion for gelato, its indescrible. No woman could ever match the desire I have for this, the creamiest of ice.
Except maybe a giant woman.

I loves me some giant woman. Size matters. No fatties.
King Lion the Richard-Hearted approves. Dyslexia ftw!
I can haz grand entrance gate?
No, I can't haz. Only the servant entrance for me. Apparently, all servants in Medieval/Reniasance Florence were all midgets. Its true, go look it up. Also why is little people less offensive than midget? I'd rather be called a midget, it sounds like less of a value judgement.
And because I have ADD, I got distracted by a millipede for like 20 minutes.
But we soon became friends. I like my friends with hundreds of legs. I enjoyed the way this little guy (or girl) walked. How terrifying would it be to see a giant version of one of these fuckers? Or better yet, being a little person and seeing a normal sized version of this bug. Fuck that, I'd be frightened, that'd be my general reaction.
But then I got distracted by something else.
Nice view huh?
And on the other side, this creepy wall! Hurray!
Maybe this is where they buried the little people who tried to escape by trying to climb the wall?
This where the lady with the giant lips probably came in from. They had to close it off so no more giants would come in and rip off pieces of themselves - it was awkward and self destructive.
Stone monkeys! I can't say there was a unifying theme to this garden besides "We're rich and want to show off"
I mean, look at this view. Its pretty intensely wonderful - intensely wonder costs lots of Euros and the exchange rate ain't great America.
If only rose petals and artistic shots of...
lizards and...
whatever the hell this thing is.
Which I guess leads me to giant naked man made of stone #5 fully equipped with fountain and trident. No wonder the giant stone women try to find human men, the stone men here only seem interested in each other. Not that I'm judging, but its important to show a little love for the giant stone women too.
Maybe buy them a dress?
No joke needed here.
Certainly no jokes about midget prisoners, or torturing them...
With whatever this thing is. My best guess is something I can't type on a public blog such as this.
And yes, the Duomo is still okay. The end.